You Can Ask For Help
You, yes you, can ask for help. Kind of shocking, right? We learn so early that asking for help shows weakness, and that if we were truly talented and capable we would be able to figure it out. Many of us, especially women, learn quickly to stay quiet rather than inviting criticism or being noticed for the wrong things. We learn not to ask for help.
Well, you can. And you should.
When I was working in the wine industry I was at the top of my field. I had my dream in editorial marketing at an amazing company, working with the best people in the business to sell the best wine available. I made great money, I had a great boyfriend, I could buy nice things, and I had fun at work. And I still felt like I was falling apart, and I was unable to ask for help.
You may feel that way. When we reach our goals, many of us find that somehow we are still unsatisfied. We feel that we are missing something, that we made a wrong turn somewhere, and we're guilty for not being grateful for what we have.
Do you beat yourself up? Do you feel like everything is fraying at the seams? Is something missing?
We are not missing anything, and we especially haven't missed some secret session on how to be happy. The real problem? We forgot to have a conversation with ourselves. We forgot to ask, "what do I want my life to look like?"
We forgot that we are magic.
The magic doesn't always come easy, especially when we've spent years suppressing it. When I got sober, I was forced to deal with the fact that I didn't think I could trust myself. One of the first things the newly sober person is told is that their brain is a little broken, that they can't think straight, and that they need to follow the guidelines to ensure safety and security. While this is deeply true, has has saved the lives of many, once we're stable we have to start finding how to trust ourselves again. We have learn to trust our intuition. We have to find our damn intuition! Learning to trust myself is a daily practice. I've been working on it for sometime now, but I find that I still need help.
And that's really the crux of it: we need help. Doesn't matter if you're at the top of your field or are just starting out, have a beautiful family or are struggling to get there. It doesn't matter what you have or who you are: we need help.
And one place that help is readily available is from within. Tapping into this idea of being magic can be extremely empowering. If we choose to believe that we are wider than what we can see, the world has more to offer than what we've been told, then by engaging with the simple mysteries of life we can find our place once again. Call it a prayer or a plea, but I like to verbally ask for help. To say that I need help. To share out loud that I am lost and want to be found. As a lapsed protestant, I had to overcome the icky feeling that I associated with prayer, and just do it anyway. So I did, and continue to do. Asking for help is the first step.
Once we ask for help, we can dig into the whys of our disenchantment with life. We can share these questions with someone we trust, and try to tease apart our answers. Why are we scared and skeptical? Why does nothing feel right? Why do we look around and feel like we're missing something? Have we hardened, removed parts of ourselves that did not fit with the lives we believed we wanted? Have we so deeply focused on the physical and mundane that we have forgotten that we are divine? Let's crack open that shell. We can allow ourselves to imagine a world where we are connected not only to each other but to the earth and the universe and to our true calling. We are each here for a reason. Trying to walk our path while closed off to the expansiveness of our existence deprives us of the deep nurturing and security that is our birthright. Let's break through and open ourselves again. The world is wide, and we can fill it with our gifts.
When we're ready to let ourselves unfold, Crocus can help to soften skepticism and to gently invite us into the possibility that we are part of something bigger. Try a couple of drops of the flower essence in your bath or in tea to release the need to believe only in what you can see.